"I'm Sorry"

When I see politicians, celebrities, and other people get on camera and say they're sorry, I wonder if they really mean it. "I'm sorry" seems to have joined the list of many other phrases that have been abused and lost their meaning, such as "I love you" and even "how are you doing?" Sometimes I feel like we say these things because we feel like we should, rather than that we mean it. How many times has someone asked you in passing how you are doing and then they are on their way before you can even give an answer (or how many times have you done this yourself?)

But I was reading an article last night in Newsweek about the importance both on the macro and micro levels of saying I'm sorry. It was saying that on the larger scale, even the most seemingly forced apologies like Michael "Cosmo Kramer" Richard's apology to the black community or Mel Gibson's apology to the Jewish community are important. Whether or not either men truly meant it, it still shows people that our societal norms do not accept this kind of speech anymore.

And on a micro level, sometimes it does help the apologizer and/or the apology-receiver. The article cited apologies from people who victimized others during South Africa's apartheid, and how it helped the victims gain closure.

I went to bed after reading Newsweek, not knowing that I would wake up and see an apology addressed to me. Someone that I had a political falling out with 2 years ago had apparently found me on facebook and wrote me a message apologizing for an incident that happened during the USAC elections when I ran.

I don't know how to describe it, but it really brought a smile to my face. There was just something about the sheer sincerity of the message. I hadn't seen or talked to this person for well over a year and as he pointed out, we may not even ever see each other again. He had no ulterior motive to make amends but did so anyway and I think that takes a lot of courage.

All too often, I think a lot of us try to justify perhaps some of our more dubious actions or just let things pass. Those two methods are much easier and provide a quick fix because it's hard to ask for forgiveness. Asking for forgivness means confronting others and even more challenging is confronting ourselves. But even though its harder, I've realized that its the only way to really move past things. I look at friendships where issues simply got swept under the rug without a real apology and things just weren't the same afterwards.

People might not forgive and forget, but they might forgive and remember the apology. I know that if I ever do run into this person again, I will remember that apology far more than the incident that predicated the apology. And I will also remember the lesson that it's never too late to say I'm sorry.