Tax Time

Here are a few unsolicited and unofficial tips after a semester of learning and many hours studying Federal Personal Income Tax:

• Do not embezzle money. Not only will you have to pay back who you stole money from; you will have to pay taxes too. You may get a deduction, but that will not help you when you are in jail.
  
• Do not hire people who will embezzle from you. They may not have money to pay you back after the government taxes you.
  
• If you are not making a lot of money now, but plan on having a bigger income in the future, invest in a Roth IRA.
• Do not wrap up your wedding ring in toilet paper. If your husband throws it away, you will not be able to claim a deduction from your loss.
  
• You will get taxed when your work sends you to Vegas and pays for topless shows.
• Be general counsel at an airline, and you will not get taxed on open airline seats.
  
• Do not live by OJ Simpson, because even if your property value goes down because of the paparazzi, you will not be able to adjust the value of your home for tax purposes.
  
• Talk business over your dinner, get a 50% deduction on that meal.
  
• Do not get divorced; you cannot deduct the legal expenses, and there are a lot of other tax issues.
  
• Donate to charity, a lot. Unfortunately you will only get deductions for domestic, not international, charities.

Yay tax.