Waiting for Godot & Getting Old

It's funny how you can sit in the dining room of your law school and be discussing contributory negligence one minute, and gossiping about who's dating who the next minute. And once again that feeling of jr. high'ness came back to me. Hanging around the lunch room in little established cliques. There's not as big of a range as there was in jr. high because all of us are nerds at heart (you kind of have to be to get into law school, and if you weren't, you will become one after studying 6 hours a day). But you can definitely see the different types of groups like you did in jr. high and high school.

In these moments, I ask myself when am I going to feel older (I had an entry about this just a few days ago), but then it dawned on me "this is it, I am a grown up." I think I keep expecting this miraculous transformation in my life but I'm realizing that I'm waiting for something that doesn't exist. Even bar mitzvahs, bat mitzvahs, quinceaneras are just symbolic passages into adulthood. Though I never had one, I doubt anyone comes out saying "wow, I felt like a kid this morning but now I feel like an adult now!"

This whole growing up thing, it's as gradual change and I know that I'm different than I was in jr. high, high school, or even college. Just because you have jr. high flashbacks doesn't mean you haven't matured since then. Because maybe even if you change, some things don't, like gossiping in the lunchroom.