Saturday, October 21, 2006

Winning & Losing

So I'm back from the UCLA alumni bar after watching UCLA's heartbreaking loss to Notre Dame. And as much as I love UCLA, I'm trying to shake it off. When you cheer so hard and are around people who are just as into it, it's sometimes hard to remember that this is just a game. Just like Project Runway is just a tv show. I may have not liked the outcome, but there's no reason to dwell on it. These forms of entertainment actually only effect a very small population but it's amazing to see how many people get caught up in the whirlwind.

But I guess there's something in our human nature that attracts us to this competition, whether it is through watching sports or reality tv. And though it I do enjoy the camraderie of watching sports game and cheering on my favorite team or a good Project Runway break on a Wednesday night, every once in a while I need to remind myself that there's more than watching people win or lose, and even in my life there's more to that.

I guess it really dawned on me as I was reading A Civil Action for my Civil Procedure class. A true life storyabout contanimated wells in a small Massachussets down and trying to find justice for the families who lost children to leukemia, it was the first time I got really upset about material I've read in law school. Sure, there have been cases where I didn't agree with the jury verdict. But in this book, the lawyers representing both the families and the corporations frustrated me to no end. Maybe it's because I knew the ending of the book already, but I just wanted to throw the book across the room as these lawyers were stubbornly debating a million dollars here and there. I just felt like screaming "this money means nothing to you or your companies! Think about the families who have nothing left, think about your employees who are mortgaging their houses for this case. Just settle on something!"

Maybe it's just the risk adverse part of my personality but it's just hard to read about people who are so enthralled with the game, the winning, and the losing when there are so many more important things out there. I guess that's why I easily get frustrated about politics. Candidates pouring in millions of dollars to ads attacking each other when that money could be so much better spent actually helping people. Or political leaders who are so set in their ways that their people are dying everyday because of decisions made at the top. Whether this drive to win is because of greed, pride, or even sticking to an ideology, sometimes you just have to ask is it worth it?

Friday, October 20, 2006

Out of Class Learning

On my list of the many reasons why I'm so glad that I came to DC for law school is that I feel like the city itself is just one giant classroom with just a wealth of information waiting for me to discover. Although today was my day off from classes, I feel like I learned just as much about the law as if I were sitting in torts or civil procedure. And while I might be absolutely exhausted and my feet hurt a lot, it was a really great and educational day. Here's what happened...

Department of Justice: The Law & Government Society for people getting their masters degree in government opened up 3 spots for law students to go to the Department of Justice this morning. Being the obsessive email checker that I am, I was lucky enough to snag one of those spots and got to go. We met Peter Keisler, the Assistant Attorney General (don't be surprised if you hear he's being nominated for the Supreme Court one day, his bio is crazy) and 5 other lawyers representing the other major divisions of the DOJ. So cool. Here are some of the interesting things I learned:
  • There is an area that combines being a public servant, public policy, and the law. Even though I don't think I would want to work at the DOJ because I don't want to stay in DC forever, there are many similar types of jobs out there at different levels. It gives me hope of combining all my interests!
  • All lawyers work long hours but if you find work that is really interesting for you (not just what your partner wants you to work on), the time goes by much more quickly.
  • If you work for the government, you can still keep your job even if administrations change. A lot of people at the panel are pretty far up on the chain but they've served through multiple adminstrations. Nice to know it isn't that partisan.
  • The DOJ does A LOT. Whether it's catching former war criminals, prosecuting election fraud, to suing polluters, being lawyer to the United States is not an easy job.
  • Lawyers are really funny people (ok, I already knew this). All the different divisions were super competitive and telling how their sector is cooler than the others.
Women in Law Networking Tea: After grabbing lunch at Cosi (mmm, Cosi) with one of my classmates who also went to the DOJ, I went to the tea with students from all the law schools in the DC area (Georgetown, GW, Howard, UDC, George Mason, Maryland and of course American...yeah, a lot of law schools!) Although I never really went to a lot of Women's Group events during undergrad, I'm really glad I went. It was definitely very motivating and it was great to see so many female lawyers, judges, and professors come out and show their support. Among the highlights of the things I learned:
  • Women shouldn't just be equal under the eyes of the law; women should be equal in the practice of law. -Dean of Catholic University Law Schoool. I guess going to a law school where women are actually the majority, it's hard to believe that women only make up a third of practicing lawyers and less than a quarter of the partners.
  • Stop apologizing! The keynote speaker noticed that women always are apologetic no matter what they do instead of just being assertive and saying what they believe. I realized that this is so true. Only the girls in class say "Sorry, this is probably a stupid question" or "I'm not sure that I'm right but..." As much as women can complain about men looking down at them at the workplace, we are only contributing to the problem by sounding unsure of ourselves. A female judge says that she noticed this tendancy in women arguing before her too and it really makes a conscious and subconcious difference.
  • Bring other women up with you. I guess a lot of women in the field of law have seen a lot of competition amongst women to be one of the few top spots instead of trying to help each other both get there.
  • The legal field is a business where you are marketing your skills. Don't sell yourself short.
So yeah, my feet hurt, I'm tired, and I didn't get any work done, but it was a great DC day.

Thursday, October 19, 2006

Budgeting my life

I used to be a major pushover when it came to going to things. Whether it was a meeting or going out with friends, I was easily guilted into attending things even if I didn't really want to go. Now I almost wonder if I am a heartless person because I feel little to no guilt about saying no to anything. I won't bail on someone if I make plans with them but I commit to far less things, sometimes at the risk of people thinking that I'm a social hermit (I swear, I'm not). I guess this all part of my plan to balance my life.

The nice part about law school though is that everyone around me seems to be at the same place and people don't really try to make me feel guilty about not going out to something. From what I've encountered, no one will make you give you a look (oh that look I got during so many of my undergrad days) if you say you need to stay in on a Thursday or Friday night to study because you need to catch up. Or even if you want to stay in to relax. Lots of people trade in working one weekend night to go out on another. I guess when you have this much work, everyone just learns to prioritize and budget out their time.

I feel pretty comfortable with how I've balanced my time so far, now I just have to work on doing the same with my finances, while buying enough winter clothes to keep me warm.

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Making the Grade

Despite the air of confidence (bordering on arrogance) that a lot of law students have, there's defintely a few things that can put us easily in our place. One of those things would be grades. Although I haven't really encountered the really cut-throat anti-social students here who live and die by what percentage grade they get and will do anything to be in that top 10%, everyone obviously wants to do well. And everyone obviously wants to do well on their first assignment. It might not mean much come graduation time, but a lot of people are trying to assess how they are doing in this brand new type of academic environment.

So this week all the 1L's got back their scores from our big first writing assignment. You could definitely see that everyone was a little apprehensive and as we sat through class today, we were all staring at the clock. "Can't it just be 3:20pm already?!"

Got my grade back and I'm definitely pleased. I was debating on whether or not I wanted to write this at all because I don't like people going around announcing their scores, good or bad. But this is my blog and this is kind of a landmark in my law school career so I couldn't really omit it. And I'm just glad our first test has passed and we all have seemed to survive. Now back to studying.

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Discrimination: An Equal Opportunity

Even though I probably go to one of the more liberal law schools in the country, sometimes I forget how even more liberal my undergrad was. And although I loved UCLA in all of its progressive glory, I think having such an overwhelming presence of one ideological viewpoint sometimes led to people's intolerance of other opinions. Though I am certainly not trying to change admissions or faculty hiring to get more conservatives, I sometimes wish the people who waved the banner of tolerance for minorities, gays, and women would extend that same tolerance to people of other beliefs.

Apparently since I've left UCLA, a big affirmative action debate has stirred up again. Although it's always been simmering, this Daily Bruin column, A Modest Proposal for an Immodest Proposition (forwarded to me, I don't check the Daily Bruin anymore, don't worry) lit the fuse to a huge bomb. Though a satirical piece about Asians and affirmative action, people apparently went crazy. Threats, facebook groups, and a lot of hate mail spewing with it's own inappropriate name calling. It's always sad, angering, and embarassing when you see people who say they want equality call a columnist (who is actually quite liberal, not a neocon like they all want to believe), who has different opinions, a "jew f*ggot."

Not long after I was forwarded this article, I also got an invitation to a "Take Affirmative Action Day" event. As I was just looking at the invitation, someone responded that they were not attending because they believe that affirmative action is fighting discrimination with discrimination. Fair enough, another opinion stated politely. Whether or not you believe in the merits of Affirmative Action, I think most people will see that some girls' response to that person's statement was just ridiculous. She said, "For one thing, reverse discrimination does not exist. In order to discriminate, you must have the power of the majority behind you. Just a little FYI."

And this very thinking is where the problem comes from. Just because you're a minority, from a ideology that champions itself as liberal and open minded, or have 80% of a liberal campus backing you up doesn't mean that you're a saint who speaks gospel truth and is immune from being hateful, discriminatory, or anything else negative. The definition of discrimination is: Treatment or consideration based on class or category rather than individual merit; partiality or prejudice. There's nothing in that definition that says you have to be in the majority. Discrimination and intolerance knows no bounds; it doesn't matter what side you're on or who you're saying it to, it is what it is.

Monday, October 16, 2006

FAQs

Since my blogging style is usually taking a small observation and exploring that topic in detail instead of chronically my day to day life, sometimes I forget that people read this blog to see what's going on with me instead of what I think about a topic du jour. For the most part, I don't write about my daily life because it's private and not particularly exciting (moreso the latter) but I thought I'd address some frequently asked questions as a way to update people on how I'm doing.

Question 1: Is law school hard?
Yes. And everyone studies A LOT; so if you're thinking about applying, know what you're getting yourself into. No one can get away with slacking. I will say that even though it's a lot of work, it's for the most part enjoyable and very interesting. And, in comparison to some things I did in undergrad, say anything political, I feel like law school is less draining. The intensity is more systematic, predictable, and less personal. So while it's hard, I actually feel less stressed than I probably did last year.

Question 2: How are you and Alex doing?
Great. I feel like so many people in law school are in long distance relationships, there's a support system. I don't know what else to say other than you take the circumstances that you're in and "make it work." (in the ever so wise advice of Project Runway's Tim Gunn)

Question 3: What type of law do you want to go into?
Who knows. Maybe something government-ish (but not politics). Maybe something non-profit. Definitely something with a public bent. Hopefully I'll get a better picture after exploring summer jobs, take electives, etc.

Things that I don't want are (this was a lot easier to figure out): no business law, no big law firm, no 90 hour weeks, no real estate, no family law, no international law, no patent law, no criminal law. I honestly don't find anything wrong with any of these fields or lifestyles, but they are not what I want for me. I'm trying to firmly establish that to myself so I don't easily fall into something I don't really want, because of the lures of paying off my debt more quickly or the prestige of some of these jobs.

Question 4: How's living in DC?
LOVE IT! Are we at all surprised? This week I might be getting a tour of the Department of Justice and then I'll be having tea with 300 lawyers, judges, and other women in the law field in DC.

Question 5: Do you think you'll come back to California?
Probably, for the following reasons: family, friends, warm weather, tailgating at the Rosebowl.

Question 6: Should I go to law school?
Well, there's really too many personal factors that you have to decide for yourself. I must say though, that I disagree with those many teachers who say don't go to law school unless you're sure you want to be a lawyer. It's hard to be 100% sure that you want to be a lawyer because there's no way to "test it out." Unlike the many extracurrics during undergraduate that give you a dose of what it's like for some professions, there's nothing that can show you what being a lawyer is really like, especially since there are so many diverse fields.

I'll just say that the two reasons why you shouldn't go are: 1) if you're just going to look for a husband/wife. Maybe it's just my section but it seems like everyone is married or in a long term relationship. 2) you aren't prepared to work. See question 1.

Question 7: Are the teachers really that mean?
Some schools do have professors who throw chalk at their students when they're wrong. Some schools have professors who pride themselves on making their students cry. It's true, they do exist. But none of my professors are like that, and from what I know, none of the professors at my school are like that. Thank goodness for Dean Grossman who is a human rights lawyer who defended detainees at Guantanamo. Some of my friends and I are even having lunch with one of my professors next week and some of the other professors came to our BBQ last weekend. So there are the good ones out there.

Question 8: Do you ever have fun?
Occassionally. I go out with friends, I watch football games with fellow Bruins at a bar, and my roommate and I keep each other entertained with silly activities. Our newest project is decorating a 6ft Christmas tree that we bought for $20. It's going to be our holiday tree that we decorate for every holiday.

Question 9: Have you really stayed away from all activities?
Well, I am now a paid member of Phi Alpha Delta, but I justify that it will directly help my networking circle and provide me with other lawyerly resources. Plus, our initiation is at the Supreme Court with Ruth Bader Ginsberg. I also went to an intro meeting of the Constitutional Society. But nothing else! Not even the Democratic club.

Question 10: Would you mind if I sent you things to your apartment?
Ok, this wasn't a real question, but I do like getting things in my mailbox. So if you're going on a trip, send me a postcard. Or if you're really bored, send me something random, I love surprises! And if postage is too much for you, emails work too. I'm horrible with keeping in touch with people but don't let me forget you.

Sunday, October 15, 2006

Sunday Morning Solitude

A lot of people think I'm crazy for getting up every Sunday morning for 9am mass by myself. People have a lot of different reasons for attending church; for me, I can't think of a better way to start the week.

Growing up, I went to church for a sense of community. Our whole family would go every week and I got involved in a lot of the youth groups. Although I believe going to church will always make you feel like you belong to something bigger, I think my current weekly trips to church have taught me how to appreciate my own company.

On Sunday mornings I wake up at 8am and it sounds like the city is still asleep. I know that at least my roommate is. Church is a little over a mile away but I enjoy walking, even if it's freezing cold outside. Pop in my headphones and just enjoy the only time of the day and week when the streets aren't packed with cars and people. I have to walk through a beautiful residential area and I love seeing all of the seasonal decorations. When you live in a city and go to school with people mostly in their 20s, it's sometimes easy to forget that there are families around you.

That's also the nice thing about being at church itself. Being an avid people watcher, I love watching the little babies and kids try to stay entertained during mass. I like seeing little older couples interact with each other. I just see a whole little mix of people I would never see. Most of the time I try to pay attention to the homilies but sometimes my mind will drift and I will wonder what these people do in their day to day lives. After mass, I walk back home and I'm ready to start the week.

I guess when you're removed from other people or the things in your day to day life (like piles of reading), you just look at things differently. I know if I was walking with someone, I wouldn't notice everyone's yards or the bright blue sky as much. Even if I only do it for an hour and a half every week, I actually have realized that it's more revitalizing than getting another hour and a half of sleep. I'm crazy, I know.