Breaking out of the Bubble

Reason #23498574 why I love going to law school in DC: There's a fun world to escape to after you've had your head buried in casebooks for a little too long.

As I boarded the metro last night to go see a movie in downtown, my eyes were big with excitement and awe. There was so much movement, so many people, so much life. I almost felt like I was a tourist from a little rural town coming to the city for the first time when the reality is that I've lived in metropolitan areas for the past 4+ years. But sometimes I forget that I actually live in a city when I'm stuck in my apartment or the law school building.

Even though I only went out for a few hours, it was so nice and so refreshing. A quick metro ride brought us to a theater in downtown where students only pay $8 (which, compared to LA movie theaters, is amazing). The chairs in the theater were probably the most comfortable chairs I've ever had at the movies. And of course, Little Miss Sunshine, is probably one of the best movies I've seen in a very very long time.

I'm not a movie snob who only watches indie or critically acclaimed movies, but I am picky. I only see a few movies in the theaters per year. Mostly because I have a short attention span and would hate to pay $10 to fall asleep in a movie. But Alex told me that this movie was really funny and that I would like it so I took up my friend's offer to go see it. I'm really glad that I did because I don't think I have ever laughed so hard in a movie. I literally was tearing up at the end from laughing.

My advice to others: Go see Little Miss Sunshine
My advcice to myself: Go out more, even if it's only for a few hours

Rekindling the Fire

Someone my first year of college called me a flaming liberal. While I think that was a bit of an exaggeration because my image of a flaming libera was someone who went goes out and leads protests (which I never did), I do remember the time when I got really riled up and impassioned about things.

Well that feeling all came back last night. After spending years politely smiling at friends who got really upset by things they read or saw in the news, I found myself once again, yelling at my tv. It was a Anti-Webb, Allen-Sponsored campaign attack ad that pretty much said that Webb was sexist. Now, I don't know too much about Webb but I do know about Allen and I just find it downright hypocritical. (I won't even start about how much disdain I have for Allen, it would require a whole entry). The ad was just so nasty that I feel like I got my first dose of what a Rovian ad must be like, and let me say I was repulsed. I don't care which side does it (I just happened to see a Republican one first), I hate them.

It was a strange feeling to feel politically alive again. Over the years, I felt like I lost a little bit of my idealism. Dare I say I got a little jaded from being in the thick of politics. I realized that the best candidates don't always win, money is almost everything in politics, and that so many decisions are made with re-election in mind. While being pragmatic is good (and I personally think a sign of growing up), perhaps I accepted a lot of things too easily. Probably the only way things move forward and improve is if someone is a big dreamer and doesn't merely accept the status quo. That person mixes idealism with pragmatism to get big things done.

Great Expectations

Everytime I come to a new school, I wonder if I have what it takes to shine and be top of the class. I've never been #1 in my class, but I'm usually up there and I always had my extracurrics to stand out. This week, it hit me that this might not be the case. Whether it was not placing in the top of our little class competition (silly I know) or getting back the draft of my memo with a lot of markups, this week just felt a little defeating. Not in a "I'm horribly upset" kind of way, but more in a "this just feels like a long week" kind of way.

But as I met with my legal writing professor (one of the people who marked up that memo), he told me that he really liked my writing style. I needed do a lot of rearranging, but I was off to a good start. He also said that there were a lot of comments on my paper because he almost expects a little more out of me because I do write well.

Although I was very flattered by these comments, one of the first thoughts that ran through my head was, "why can't he just hold me to the average standard?" But really, when have I ever wanted to be average. As someone, who I can't remember at the moment, once said "It's better to be challenged at a higher standard than be at the top of the mediocrity."

So while I'll still work my best to get good grades, I'm going to try to compare myself less to others. Our Dean pointed out that only 10% can be in the top 10%. So maybe I'll be in it, or maybe I won't. But either way, it is kind of cool to be at this level of education with so many other smart people.

Ode to the Older

There are a handful of people in my classes that graduated college when I graduated high school. There are even some people who graduated college when I graduated from elementary school. This isn't like undergrad where it seemed like 98% of the campus is 18-22. There's an age range and I must say that I've learned a lot from my "elders" (my collegues would probably cringe if they knew that I just called them my elder but I only mean it with the utmost respect).

The other day I was thinking about what lives of some of the older students at my school must be like. I feel exhausted simply after doing all my work. I couldn't even imagine what it must be like to do that school work, take care of the kids, attend to the spouse, do housework, work in a real job, and more. I totally take for granted the luxuries I have, like being able to leave closer to school because my parents are paying for my apartment. I don't have to spend extra time commuting because I have a strict budget that doesn't permit me to live in the District.

Right now, I only need to take care of myself (which at times, does feel like a handful). Being young and unmarried gives me a free pass to be pretty selfish right now. Naturally, I try not to go overboard with this and hope that I'm still a good roommate and a considerate person who talks to her family, boyfriend, and friends. But heck, one of the few perks of a long distance relationship is that I get a lot more me time. I just take care of what I need to do.

All in all, there's no perfect time to go to law school and it depends so much on the individual. But I think that something the advocates of "taking time off" don't mention is that the older you get, the more responsibilities you tend to assume. And while there are people who stellar examples of how to balance full adult/family responsibilities with law school, it still should be one of the many factors that you might want to integrate into your decision. Now that my decision is made, all I can say is that I have a profound respect for my classmates who are doing it and I'll make the best of youthfulness.

Don't Hate the Player, Hate the Game

My contracts professor seems like a very nice woman. She's brilliant (not everyone gets to clerk for a Supreme Court Chief Justice), very passionate about the subject, very approachable, and is a role model for many women who want to balance having a family and being top in her field. The problem is, she just can't teach us 1L's contracts.

So I don't hate my professor, I just strongly dislike the class. I tried liking it, I really did, but here's an average day in our class.

Professor: Everyone! What is *insert complex, convulated question that has very little to do with the case at hand* Everyone!
Everyone: *blank stares*
Professor: Anyone?

We're not dumb, we can answer the questions in every other class. But in contracts, we come out of class far more confused than when we came in. People have tried making suggestions of how we could understand things better, but she still doesn't seem to get it. So as much as we all have tried, most of us have just tuned most of the talking out because it makes more sense that way.

It's also fun watching what everyone in class does instead. So far I have seen and indulged in a few of the following: online shopping, checking fantasy football scores, facebooking, checking/responding to email, 4 guys in one party poker room, sleeping, scouring Craigslist, reading the news, hitting one's head against one's book, and of course instant messaging (which is the one area that I vow not to go into).

At this point, there's nothing more I can really do besides vent here. 9 more weeks. I'm just making a promise to myself that I won't go into teaching, or any field for that fact, where people who I have to interact with don't think I'm doing a good job.

Human Nature

Yesterday Alex, David, and I walked to the National Zoo not far away from my apartment. Another great part about being in DC is that great attractions are right by you, and usually free. So we spent a few hours roaming around seeing the famous and oh so cute pandas, elephants, lions, hippos, and all your usual zoo fanfare. I will note that I did sit on a bench outside while David and Alex went into the reptile house because reptiles scare me like no other, and I had just as much fun watching little kids wander around...they're almost as fun to watch as the animals themselves.

As we stood around, watching pandas eating frozen rings of fruit and the seals lounging around on rocks, we all commented on "wow, I wish my life were that easy."

I think the reality of it is that if we really wanted to have that kind of life, there are probably ways to obtain it and most of us simply don't choose it. Yes, of course you might need to work to have some kind of income to live on, but if we truly wanted a life of simplicity, we could cut back on a lot of things. I got a dose of it this summer when I really had no obligations. I was like the panda, just playing around outside and sleeping. But I eventually got bored of it because it's just not how I was raised. For as long as I can remember, I was always active, always busy doing something whether it was piano lessons, softball, soccer, 4-H, sewing lessons, swimming lessons, the list goes on.

While I might long to live a carefree life or complain about the work, I really do know that deep down inside, that I'd rather be active and take the occasionally relaxation break than have it be the other way around. I wonder what people would say about the human species if we were exhibits in a zoo.

Where Everyone Knows Your Name...

Yesterday night I wasn't sure if I was in Westwood or Washington, DC. Alex and I went to the Ugly Mug, a bar where all the UCLA alums hang out to watch the football and basketball games. I was expecting to meet up with my roommate and our squatter David, and some of the Bruin Dems that I know who moved out to Washington. Much to my surprise, I knew dozens of people there. There were people I knew pretty well from my classes, people from SAA, other Bruin Dems I didn't know were out in DC, and even the ASB president when I was a freshmen in high school who also went to UCLA. It was funny because it seemed like I knew almost everyone who came in and I swore to the people at my table that this doesn't even happen to me when I go to local UCLA places like BrewCo.

Although it was sad that we lost the game yesterday, it was better losing whilst in good company. I think that this just proves wrong a lot of the negatives that people have about UCLA. We get a lot of flak for being a large impersonal school, not having a good alumni network, and not having any spirit. But anyone who was there last night could see that there are people who still feel very connected with their school after they graduate, who will come together and bond because we are Bruins.

Perhaps our alumni network isn't in your face like some other schools, but it's there. If you look, you can find sports gatherings all the way across the country. You can find great business networking events. You can find dedicated alumni packing the Rosebowl and Pauley Pavillion every game. You can find people who will provide you with connections because of the school (it's how I got my 2 internships during college, including the one on Capitol Hill one). And I don't mind if I have to go look for it, because it's a reflection of how life really is. You have to go out and seek opportunities and one of the many things I loved about UCLA is that it taught me to be pro-active.

After family/friends and weather, I listed going to and tailgating at UCLA as one of the top things I missed about California. I'm grateful though that I have a fun bar and lots of displaced and political junkie Bruins that I've either known for years or just met to keep me company though. You know where to find me on game days now.